turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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