JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
