i jhust puked up my retainher.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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