he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
