her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
