I forgot how hot balto sounded
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
