I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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