Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
