Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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