Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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