Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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