Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
