dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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