he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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