Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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