If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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