Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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