the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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