Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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