You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
where are my eyebrows?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
