I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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