I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
