Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
