I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
