We won't sleep together?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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