I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
