Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
