I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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