She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
