They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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