Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
