it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
