I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
