THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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