TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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