I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize