im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
worst night to have a conscience
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize