It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
