You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
