The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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