dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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