would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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