marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
