PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
