the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
