I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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