Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
