I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Randomize
