Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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