i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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