Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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