I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
