Me too!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
