just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
