Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
