did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
