By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
