Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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