Sry I called you an 8
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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