Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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