Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
