Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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